Beyond Control by Karice Bolton

Author:Karice Bolton
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2013-08-31T04:00:00+00:00

Aaron returned with two cups of coffee and handed me one before sitting down.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t blame dad for this. I was my own man and should have reached out to you. But I didn’t. I wish I had been there for you,” he replied, his voice solemn.

“You were only eighteen, but it would have made it easier,” I said, turning to face him, relieved with my candidness. “It really would have... I was so angry with you for leaving. When mom died, dad increased his travel to five or six days a week, and my anger level was out of this world. And to be honest when he was around, he wasn’t that pleasant. I felt so alone. With the help of a therapist, I kind of worked through it. And my imaginary world took over the rest of the time as I was ready and waiting for you to come back until you didn’t. When Carla came into the picture, I didn’t even care. I was numb by then.”

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, his eyes full of sorrow.

I shrugged. “When I got sick, that’s when I wished every moment of every day that you’d return. I don’t understand why dad would’ve kept you away, especially then.”

“I don’t either,” Aaron replied. “I’m so angry at myself for letting him control me. Letting the guilt control me.”

“Guilt?” I asked.

“I just felt like such a fraud. For eighteen years he raised me as his own. And then to find out that I wasn’t his biological son, I felt like I used him so I just stayed away. Did whatever he said to keep peace. When I did try to return, he threatened all kinds of things,” Aaron replied. “Once he found out I was in the military, he used that against me too. He told me you were too fragile to handle that. And if something were to happen to me…”

“I wouldn’t be able to handle it… blah-blah-blah,” I replied, shaking my head. “I feel like those years were stolen from me.”

“They kind of were,” Brandy piped up. “Gabby’s been beating herself up all morning about calling her dad pathetic last night.”

“And now I feel horrible that we’re talking about this stuff while he’s in surgery,” I added, eyeing Brandy.

Aaron’s laughter surprised me as I sat back in the chair.

“What?” I asked.

“I find it amazing that the strongest person in our family is the one who dad had us all convinced we had to protect. When the truth of it was that he was the one who needed to be protected. He was the one who couldn’t deal with anything.”

“Pretty ironic,” I muttered, feeling the walls continually crumbling between Aaron and me. I wanted it to last. I wanted my brother in my life.

“Anyone want a scrumptious homemade scone made by the marvelous Gabby, whose goodies are out of this world?” Brandy asked, shoving the baggie in front of Aaron and me. She had a real knack for lifting the mood.

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